Response to "New Coach" by Lauren Sides

"New Coach" is a story about Kaylee, who was once competitive cheerleader. This ended because she could not take the physical abuse from the new coach, Alex. Pushing her beyond safe limits, Alex caused her to tear her ACL and eventually pushed her to quit. He manipulated her into losing weight and potentially permanently damaging her body.

I would also like more description of the cheerleader moves.

The characters are good and believable. I would have liked to see more character traits being shown and more details conveyed, especially with Alex.

This story is a good one. I would work on strengthening your conflict. Possible add internal thoughts or how the squad was reacting.

I think the structure is strong.

The setting mostly takes place in a gym. I would like more descriptions of the gym and the people in it.

In the opening, I would like to see less exposition and more first person narrative. I wanted to see her relive the moment described.

The closing needs to be developed a little further. I could not help, but left wanting more. I wanted to know how this affected Kaylee and how it changed her life. This was a huge decision, which altered her life in many ways.