Response to "Dreams" by Jeremy Hare

“Dreams” is a story about a person who just will not give up. Once picked on as a kid, Sora, needed help from the captain. She was once too weak to defend herself and with the help of the captain, she was able to stop the bullying. However, Sora still felt weak and puny. She had a drive to be better and strong, so she asked the captain for help.  He denied, but gave her a strong piece of advice, “If I could become strong enough to beat him, he would teach me” (Hare 4). As the strong willed hero always does, the challenge began and occurred every day. Upon telling this story to Hikari, Sora never thought any differently. Yet, as the ending showed it didn’t matter because she was never going to give up.

I like the idea behind the story and the use of unconventional character names. By using the different names, it made me pay attention more. I also liked most of your dialogue.

This story is written with a third person narrator. While the dialogue does take up most of the story, I was left wanting more from the main character. I would consider trying it in first person and seeing how the story turns out. It would make some of the dialogue more interesting as well.

The characters in the story are good for the most part. I feel like Hikari needs to have more significance. That character tried to bring forth a revelation, yet fell somewhat short.

This story feels like one giant scene instead of an entire story. This is able to work, but I would be more descriptive in my flashbacks. I would also flesh out the ending a little more.

The story itself needs more description, especially within the main character. Outside of being weak, we really know nothing about them.

I think the structure works and everything is in order

The setting is understood to be a karate club, but I would like more description of the club itself and the battle ground at the end.

 The opening sets up the story to make Hikari a more prominent role, yet I feel Hikari came up short in some areas. I do like the character, but it needs to be more descriptive. Also, the character needs to have a more pivotal role.

The closing, for me, needs to be developed more. I think it could be a great ending, but just needs a few things added.

Dialogue Exercise

Do I Really Have Friends Like These

This is a conversation I recorded from listening to a couple who sat at the booth behind me. We went as a big group to Mamma Goldberg's and this is what we overheard.

"Baby, guess what happened to me this weekend?"

"What did you do now, Jen?"

"Brad, don't always assume I am doing something stupid, but I almost got arrested." 

"Seriously?" "For what?" "Why do you even put yourself in those situations?"

"Well, I heard you could tell a cop you have anything on you and if you told him he couldn't search you at the end, then he couldn't."

"Jen, you're unbelievable."

"Brad, you're missing the best part. I even told the cop to fuck off."

"Jen, you're an idiot for even thinking I would believe that."

"No, Brad. I'm serious. When I heard that thing about the cops, I had to try it. I even had an eighth on me when I did it."

"Jen, now I know you're an idiot"

"Brad, how is that not awesome? I literally just gave you the secret to life and you're pissing it away."

"Did you really do that, Jen?"

"Yeah, I even told him I had the eighth on me just to see if it worked."

"Okay, now you have graduated from an idiot to a dumbass."

"Brad, you're not listening. The cops physically cannot do anything to you. You could tell him you are holding a brick of weed and all he can do is look at you."

"Jen, it's a good thing you're pretty."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Nevermind, Jen. Do you still have the eighth?"

"Yeah!", Jen screamed.

"Let's go smoke."

"Jen screamed across the restaurant, "Brad, lets do it and go tell a cop; I will prove he cannot do anything to you."

"Jen, you are lucky we are daiting."

"I'm serious, Brad. I want to do show you how this works."

"Jesus Christ, stop talking!"

Response to "1-900"

After finally obtaining a copy of the book, it is now time to given my opinion on "1-900" by Richard Bausch.

"1-900" is a story of desperation and humanity woven within a forced human connection. It is a story about an older man who calls a sex hotline, but before he can indulge in phone sex, he must establish a connection with the hotline host. By doing so, the old man relives old memories and even helps the hotline host, Sharon

In my opinion, this is a story about human connection and how we establish it. Bausch does an amazing job conveying the despair and loneliness within the older man. He depicts a man who just wants to be listened to one last time, which is such a pivotal point because at the end of the day, nobody is above human connection. This leads to what I found the most interesting about the story, which is how to establish that connection. The story poses a few interesting questions to me. For example, what is expected when you begin a relationship? How do you transition to the next phase of you relationship? How do you establish a true foundation, which include preconceived notions? These questions become important to me because they are the foundation of human connection.

Another interesting point of this story, involves the old man. This man represents everyone who has ever been lonely or widowed. He represents anyone who has ever felt broken and lost. Essentially, he represents everyone, because everyone yearns for human connection. In my opinion, this is what made this story so well written. Bausch created a character that everyone can relate too. He is universal and shows how hurt can reveal humanity in anyone. This is especially the case when he tells the stories involving his wife; however, the best example of humanity comes when he tells Sharon, “I Love You.” This utterance shows how real the character is. He is so desperate for companionship that he expresses those words to someone over the telephone, which he has never met.

I think Bausch’s “1-900” is a terrific story that should be read by all. To understand human emotion the way Bausch does, which is something most writers dream about. He evokes these emotions seamlessly and does so while giving you hope. Finally, he reminds you that at the core of a person, a desire to be wanted resides within all of us.

A Response to "Emergency"

Denis Johnson's "Emergency," is a wild tale about a man lost in reality. In my opinion, Johnson is trying to explore how easily it is to get lost in life and especially within one's self. He does this by using two characters, which seem to be searching for something, but have no idea why. For example, consider the entire road trip. The two main characters are lost the entire time, yet still search for direction, but not because they have a destination.

I think Johnson’s character are very interesting people because of their broken exterior. He is conveying someone that has nothing and wants nothing more than to escape his life. For example, when both of the main characters taking pills in the ER. The most interesting thing to me about the characters is their value for life, yet they do not seem to care about their own. This is shown in two pivotal was. The first is when they are in the ER and a man walks in with a hunting knife in his eye. The orderly, who is high on pills, won’t even prep him for the doctor. However, a few moments later he comes out with a hunting knife covered in blood.  When the man was checked on, after being assumed dead, he was perfectly fine and his vitals check out. When the orderly was asked, “What do you do here?” He responded, “I save lives.” This scene in particular really caught my attention because of how convoluted his personality is.

           

            The next scene where the characters express a value for life is the scene when the orderly runs over a rabbit. Then, he rushes back to get it for dinner, but comes back with its babies. Regardless of the orderly’s intentions with the baby rabbits, he still chose to bring them back with him. While that does show a deeply disturbed person, it also shows a caring and concerned one. I think Johnson has done a good job relaying that within his characters. In my opinion, this is done strategically to convey how lost the character truly is and has no intention of ever finding a way out. He has almost become continent with being lost and not much matters anymore.

            I think Johnson’s story is an interesting one with complex characters. Overall, I think he is trying to show us how lost someone can be in life. However, even the strangest person who cannot find his way home, still has values unbeknownst to anyone.

The TV Guide - A Short-Short

The TV Guide

The stresses of the world can all be taken away by a mere moment in time. A moment where everything makes sense and nothing is questioned. For me, that is the moment I can finally sit down and lose myself in the television.

As I came home, the decline began and things were becoming positive again. Quickly, I flipped on the TV. I wanted to start watching before my girlfriend got home, so I could get a few minutes of peace. I rushed to the couch and found my favorite corner spot and before I knew it, the remote was in my hand.

The first show was a personal favorite. It was a show called “Californication,” which is a show about "a middle aged man trying to keep his life together, while watching it all fall apart." It was a show that hit home with me on many levels, but I could never figure out why.

At this point, my girlfriend walked in. She had just come from work and I could tell by the distraught look on her face, it was not a very good day. Regardless, it was not my main concern at this point because I had my own bad day to forget. She was looking at me for sympathy or concern, but realized there was no getting through to me. She let out a big sigh and went to our bedroom.

Once she changed, she decided to sit with me and watch TV. It was perfect timing because it was a romantic scene it the show, so I thought it would cheer her up. I figured she would like that after all the romance movies we see. She loves those movies, which I never understood because they aren’t real.

As I became anxious for her to feel better, the main character delivers a beautifully scripted line about how much he loves this girl and wants to stay with her forever. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I was entrapped by this and completely forgot why I yearning for a romantic scene.

“Why can’t you say that kind of stuff to me,” my girlfriend screamed. I was blindsided and I had no idea what to say.

“Of course, you never have anything to say during your personal time,” she screamed and then walked away.

As I glanced back at the television, my next move became clear. I was going to tell her the next big romantic line I heard in the show. Besides, she is not watching, so she will not know the difference.

As I sat and waited for another beautifully scripted line, the show started to end. Before I knew it, a man was on a roof and stood on the ledge getting ready to jump. As he leaps into the air, “SLAM.” Startled by the noise, I look around and nobody is there. So, I ran to the bedroom to apologize and she was gone. The worst part was, I didn’t even notice.

A Response to "Television"

“Television” is a story about the desperate escape from reality, needed by all those it encompasses. This escape revolves around the idea of television and how it allows you to focus on a reality that is different from your own. Based around a family who spends the remaining hours of a night together, “Television” explores a relationship based on a fictional reality.

The author, Lydia Davis, approaches this very carefully because she does not want to give the impression of a false foundation, which leads to a false relationship. Instead, she spends her time explaining how the family does not want to be huddled by the television, yet it is routine. For example, Davis states, “It is not what you want to be doing. It is that you are passing the time” (211). By establishing this fact, Davis can now explore the connection experienced by the whole family within that moment in time.

The story does a good job of describing the television programs being viewed, which is very important. This is the case when Davis describes her family lusting after certain reporters because without actually knowing it, they are all connected in a conscious sense. Davis does an excellent job connecting the characters in a realistic fashion, which goes to show their relationship is built on real moment.

The only downside to the story, in my opinion, is the lack of emotion. I feel Davis needs to add more emotion depth with the family, so the reader has something to hold onto within them. While I understand why she had a lack of emotional expression; I believe it would enhance the realistic value of the story. Yes, it is one about an escape from reality, but this realization takes a toll on families.

Overall, this story is built around a great concept and explores the modern day family from a completely different perspective. By doing that, Davis has created a story more relatable than most and does so through the one thing modern America loves, the television.