"Over the Counter" by Kody Blackwell

"Over the Counter" is a story about a man in the midst of tough times. He has a family, divorced, and the bills are stacking up. In order to deal with this, he learns of selling prescription drugs to make money on the side. This causes a personal dilemma within his life because he has a family to consider, not to mention all the moral convictions he would be voiding. However, is house is being foreclosed on and he does not have much choice. At the end, he decides to steal the pills when nobody is looking and begin his selling of illegal drugs for the sake of his family.

Overall, the story has a solid premise. I think you also did a good job with the main character's self-confliction. He is put in a pretty rough situation and I think he gives a pretty realistic reaction (stealing the pills.) In my opinion, I think the kids were very good characters; however, you do need to make them more involved. I also found it interesting that Preacher John was used to contrast his conscience. I thought that was a good tactic, even if he fell asleep in church.

The setting takes place over the span of a few places. The majority of it takes place in the pharmacy. It also takes place at a bar, church, house, and "Mama's" house. I think you should focus more on a direct setting. Obviously the bar and the pharmacy are your main two.

The story is told from the eyes of the main character.

The characters in the story have potential to be very good, but as it stands I think they need to be fleshed out more, especially the main character. To me, the main character has a sense of desperation when considering his wife. I would like to see that more and possibly and explanation why. I think you could do some really interesting character contrasts with Tim and the main character. Also, I want to know more about the kids and how the affect the main character's life besides the obvious. I would also like to see how the divorce affects the kids on a general level.

The opening was good as a whole. I really enjoyed the church scene and thought you did a good job depicting it. The only thing I would suggest, is making the main character feel bad about falling asleep in church. I think this because it will make his moral convictions more believable later, especially in the case of stealing the drugs. This would also give him a a stronger sense of humility, which you need to feel sympathy for the character.

I feel like the ending was missing something. That being said, I would develop the ending more and maybe even give an outcome. I would personally like to know what happened with the main character (If he was caught by the cameras or something).