Response to "Spanish Moss" by Ethan Hightower

"Spanish Moss" is a story about growing up and becoming experienced with oneself and others in an intimate way. This is a story that has been told many times, but Ethan does a good job of providing a sense of understanding in the character that most lack. As they are rushing to grow up, his friends Blake and Tommy try to instigate things, as all friends do, and they realize sometimes growing up isn't always what you've done or who you've been with. Instead it is a true experience of life and everything associated with it.

I really enjoyed your use of the title. I thought opening and closing the story with spanish moss was a good move on your part and it kept me very interested. However; it also led to one of my critiques. I felt the ending was a little to open. I would personally develop that a little more and give it a more definitive tone. It will also help exemplify your character's final change.

Overall. I think you did a very good job taking a typical story and making it interesting. I think you did a really good job humanizing your characters. I would have liked to see a little more dialogue between them because I wanted to see more interaction between the friends themselves. I also wanted a little more background information on the friends. Other than that, you did a very good job with them.

In the end, you did a great job with this story and I really enjoyed reading it. It takes a lot to keep a reader interested during a familiar story, but you do that very well. I would like to see a final copy of this once you finish your revisions. Good Luck!

Response to "As Big As Light" by Robert Elrod

"As Big As Light" is a story about a main character who is losing his memory and because of that memory loss a doctor wants him to write down his thoughts and memories. When doing so, it becomes clear that he was a house servant of some kind. At this point, he begins telling stories of Huxley Manor, which include the son telling his story of his dying mother.

Throughout the story, there are vivid images and extremely humanistic qualities. I think Robert does an excellent job describing Huxley Manor and everything it represents. He also does a great job with smaller details such as the painting. The setting throughout the story is great and provides a smooth and clear tone for the entire story.

The characters are very good and very believable. The only thing I wanted to see more of is more background on them. I want know what kind of person James really is and what makes him the way he is. I think the servant's perspective is a great idea. It provides such an interesting idea of what these people are like and think you could show a lot more of these other characters through him. I think doing this would also provide a higher emotional state and help some of the things easier to relate to .

The beginning and ending were both great. You do an excellent job of building up and having me invested in the story. I also thought the ending, which consisted of the son being strong was an excellent touch. I feel like that character responded in a very humanistic way and that was all he had left. The fact that he recognized that was very interesting. I would like to know a little more of why he reacted the way he did.

In the end, great story and great job.

Response to "A Dream" by J.J. Nelson

"A Dream" is the story of a struggling writer/stoner. It is the tory of someone trying to figure out who they are in a world that doesn't make sense and all the while trying to force himself to live a life he thinks should be the one lived. Yet, the main character battles his morals day in and day out, constantly questioning himself and everything he chooses to do. Because of this, the main character is left with nothing, but thoughts that are tainted by weed and self-loathing. This continues until the character finally goes through change and begins to write stories.

Overall, I found this story very interesting. I think we all have friends similar to this and I honestly felt like I was inside their heads, but it was more than just the stoner talk. I felt as if you captured their personality and their desire to escape because of the world making them want to forget. It leads to a very interesting story about someone struggling with themselves, which is always an interesting topic to me.

One of my favorite things about all your stories are the little details. For example, the use of the Killer's song as a distraction or the vivid description of a gravity bong hit. I think you did an excellent job with that. However, on those same notes, I wanted to see more of an affect each one of those things had, especially with the gravity bong.

The beginning of this story is good. It really sets the tone for the rest of the story. It also provides a good insight to what makes the character tick and want to forget some of the things he has experienced. The end left me hanging a little bit. I wanted to know more about the story or what happened with the stories. I think you did a really good job building it up, but I personally want to know what happened with them.

In the end, this is a really good story with a really interesting perspective. It is filled with a lot of good details and a lot of potential. The characters are your strongest point by far, so consider using them more. Otherwise, great job.

A Response to "Dreams and Reality" by Lauren B.

"Dreams and Reality"is a story about a young man with dreams and aspirations. He desires to go and play baseball at Ole Miss, while earning a law degree. Yet, once he arrives, after much preparation, things do not go as planned and all seems at waste. All the years of saving up money, practicing, and telling his parents that he was cut out to be something better, was gone. Once tryouts were over, the main character had an epiphany. He realized that he was born to run the family business and stay home to help out his parents. His whole life they told him this, but he never agreed until that moment. He also found an envelope with plane tickets and money, which showed they supported him all along.

Overall, I think this is a good story, but it is too short. I think you could really make this story great if you expanded in a few areas. For example, I want to see more about tryouts. I also want to know more about how the character is affected the moment he realized he wasn't going to make it. Lastly, I want to see the conversation the coach had with him about not being cut out for college baseball.

The characters are good, but I was left wanting more descriptions. I want to see more of the main characters personality and more dialogue with the coach and parents. Show through the dialogue exactly what he is going through. Show the contemplations involved with going against the grain and failing.

I think the first person narrator worked nicely here. It provided a different tone to the story than one we are use to.

In the end, I think the story has a good premise, but just moves too fast. Slow it down and expand it. You have a good build up in the beginning and a good ending, so use it to your advantage. With those simple corrections or some variation of them, I think you will have a great story.

A Response to Kody Blackwell's "Whatever Gods May Be"

"Whatever God's May Be" is a fascinating story about a man named Thomas Abrams. This is a man struggling with faith and cannot understand why. He sees the same miracles in every day life, such as seeing his son born and having a consoling and understanding friend named Bert, but nothing resonates with him like it should. He simply does not believe anymore. Abrams tries to push through the doubt and continue preaching to his congregation and giving them the answers they so long to hear, but he just cannot fake it anymore. So, one day he stands up and announces that he is stepping down as pastor from the church to try and find his faith. From that point on, Thomas Abrams will never understand the likes of God again and has no idea why.

Overall, this is a great story with an excellent premise. I think Kody's attention to detail is spot on and his references are great. He shows a strong understanding of the subject matter and the true battle people face on a daily basis with religion. Whats even more interesting to me is he poses the question,"What would happen if we just couldn't believe anymore? Do we just fake it?" Regardless, you have brought up some very interesting points and address them very well.

I think the characters are the reason this story works so well. You do a great job of establishing a voice within your main character and you personalize him very well. Also, the character of Bert and Bethany do a great job of contrasting the main character and his views. It provides a very good balance to the story. One that is usually missing from stories like this.

The story is told in third person, but could be worth considering to be told in first. I think by doing that you could add a very interesting thought process. I really want to see what is going through Abrams head throughout the whole story. Such as how he deals with this conflict and why he continues to push through something even though his passion has diminished.

I would also like to see a little more setting. Yet, be careful with that suggestion because too much will take away from the excellent story.

In the end, I think you have written a really well crafted story and cannot wait to read a final draft.

Response to "Casting Shadows" by Jeremy Hare

Casting Shadows is a story about a main character who dies in a fire. Then the main character experiences the afterlife and is stuck in purgatory. In his afterlife, he describes death, meets Kain, and is trained to become a soul catcher. Once she realizes goes through all of this, she begins to realize the freak fire she died in was not an accident, she was killed for her soul. At this point, the main character decides to take her own life instead of working for cain, thus giving her the poetic justice she deserves.

Overall, I think you have written a very interesting story. It is certainly not the same story we have heard before and does a nice job of presenting a new scenario. I think with some revision this could be a very good story based on the foundation at hand.

The first thing that sticks out to me is the characters themselves. I think you do a good job at describing Kain, but I want to see more in all the other characters. I also want to see more dialogue exchanged between them. While I agree exposition is your strong point, I think you could create some interesting dialogue here that would add a nice dimension to your story.

The setting of the story takes place in a few different areas. First it takes place in the infirmary, then in purgatory, and some kind of training room. I think the infirmary was well described, but I want to know more about purgatory. I think this could be an excellent setting of a story, but sense I know nothing about it you need to create more of an image for the reader. I feel the same thing about the training room and describe how each one made the characters feel and how that led to a different interaction.

The story is told from a first-person narrative, which I think works well here.

One final note, I want to see more of a reason for Kain turning her into a soul catcher. If you did put a reason in there, I apologize for not recognizing it. Regardless, I think it needs to be more clearly defined. Other than that, great job and good luck revising.