Response to "The Summer of Lemon Drops" by Nate Lundberg

"The Summer of Lemon Drops" is a story about a youth serving his community service. We are not exactly sure why he is serving the community service, but he is doing so instead of interning in New York. During his community service, he has to work with a gentlemen named John. John was dedicated to his job, but he was more dedicated to tricking the main character. He did so by creating a fake box of gold, which the main character played right into. By the end of the story, the main character was convince that John was merely on this earth to torture him.

Overall, I think you have a very strong story. I really like the aspect of the "lemon drops." However, I do think you should incorporate it more than twice. It could be a really interesting way to take your story to a different level of development. I do think your main character needs a little more developing. For example, I want to know the crime he committed to get him the community service. Also, has he committed a crime before.

The story is told in first person and from the standpoint of the narrator. I think this story works well in first person. Although, it might be interesting to hear some of the story from John's perspective. Perhaps, considering giving him more personality and more relateability.

The characters are good, but they do need to be fine tuned a bit. I want to know more about how the main character views the judge and justice system. I feel like he would be bitter about them, especially since they are holding up his future.

The setting of this story is good and well-defined. It revolves around community service in Cape Canaveral Florida.

The opening of the story is very strong. I really like you analogy of people having two faces. I did want you to go into more detail about what that meant and what the difference in the two faces are (Physically). I also wanted you to describe the judge and courtroom more.

I feel like this ending has a bunch of potential, but I felt like I was missing something. I do not feel like the main character really experienced a change. It was more of a selfish realization, which is something I am currently working on in my own stories, so I understand. Consider showing a change by the way he reacts to John once he finds out the box is fake. This would also add more depth to both sets of characters.