Perfect is about a girl struggling to find the difference between who she is and who she wants to be. Throughout all of high school she was not liked and all of the other things that made high school horrible. So, in the next phase of her life, it is time to reinvent her life. She does so by understanding her beauty, making more friends, and creating a life of popularity. In my opinion, she creates a fake reality around herself and convinces herself that these things are real. An example of this is when she dumps her best friend because of a superiority complex.
I think you have a very interesting story and a very interesting perspective. I think you show an interesting development within the main character. By doing so, it really allows the reader to care about the character and actually relate very easily to her. That being said, I think you did a great job with the main character. I wanted to see more descriptions of her and more dialogue with her, but I think she works very well. She is that girl everyone knows.
One of the things I would like to see you work on is a defined setting. While you do have a scene, it is not really described or defined. I think it would even be interesting if you defined it through her eyes in a superficial way, which will help show the change more.
I think the ending and the beginning of the story are very good. I enjoyed the implied ending you had with the girl that had hope. In my opinion, it really solidified change within the character. Yet, it did so very subtly and elegantly. I really like the fact you didn't tell us how she changed, instead you showed us.
Another thing I would suggest, is checking over you tense changes. I have this very same problem and it is a tough one to get around. Yet, sometimes it takes away from your story because I am trying to determine if the narrator is speaking or the main girl is.
Other than that, I think you have a great story here. Keep up the good work on it.
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