Casting Shadows is a story about a main character who dies in a fire. Then the main character experiences the afterlife and is stuck in purgatory. In his afterlife, he describes death, meets Kain, and is trained to become a soul catcher. Once she realizes goes through all of this, she begins to realize the freak fire she died in was not an accident, she was killed for her soul. At this point, the main character decides to take her own life instead of working for cain, thus giving her the poetic justice she deserves.
Overall, I think you have written a very interesting story. It is certainly not the same story we have heard before and does a nice job of presenting a new scenario. I think with some revision this could be a very good story based on the foundation at hand.
The first thing that sticks out to me is the characters themselves. I think you do a good job at describing Kain, but I want to see more in all the other characters. I also want to see more dialogue exchanged between them. While I agree exposition is your strong point, I think you could create some interesting dialogue here that would add a nice dimension to your story.
The setting of the story takes place in a few different areas. First it takes place in the infirmary, then in purgatory, and some kind of training room. I think the infirmary was well described, but I want to know more about purgatory. I think this could be an excellent setting of a story, but sense I know nothing about it you need to create more of an image for the reader. I feel the same thing about the training room and describe how each one made the characters feel and how that led to a different interaction.
The story is told from a first-person narrative, which I think works well here.
One final note, I want to see more of a reason for Kain turning her into a soul catcher. If you did put a reason in there, I apologize for not recognizing it. Regardless, I think it needs to be more clearly defined. Other than that, great job and good luck revising.
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